I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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