Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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