My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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