I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
