Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
