Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
