He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
