i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
