you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I wear drunk well.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
