Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
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