He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
