he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
