We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
