shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
