How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
