thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
