remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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