I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
