I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fill condoms, not promises.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
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