My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
