Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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