She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
we're so committed to being not committed
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
