I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
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