i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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