i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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