Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
then he tried to convert me to islam
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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