i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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