Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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