So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
