pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I need to align my fucking chakras
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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