Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
