i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
