Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
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I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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