Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
