I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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