As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Randomize
