I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
