someone threw a dead crab at me
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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