I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
