Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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