where does the pee come out of this thing
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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