i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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