Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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