I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize