We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
