Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
