just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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