no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
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I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
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You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize