There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
