I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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