I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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