took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
