you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
