did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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