how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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