we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
