At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
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I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
That was an excessively violent trivia night
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
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I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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