HIV tests are more positive than that guy
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I am mentally ready for anal.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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