i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I could fuck to npr.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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