i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
its liver damage thursday
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
