ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
