he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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