i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
